Opening March 13, 2009

How will you spend the second Friday the 13th of the year? Well, like I'm predicting with a lot of people, my guess is that you'll be at the movies. We have 3 major-motion pictures set to release March 13th; among them: The Last House on the Left, Miss March, and Race to Witch Mountain.


Has it really already been a month since we had Friday the 13th? Nothing original here; another 1980's remake of a classic horror film. Well, actually, a remake of a remake. Last House on the Left was a remake of a Sweden black-and-white 1960 horror flick called JungfrukÀllan. As you may already know, the original Last House was Wes Craven's (who produces the remake, along with Sean S. Cunningham, who also produced the Friday the 13th

series, including last month's remake, and the original Last House on the Left) first breakout hit? With a Sara Paxton co-leading role (really?) and a leading Garret Dillahunt (Terminator: the Sarah Conner Chronicles, awesome!), The Last House on the Left is all ready to go! Judging by how excellent the Friday the 13th
remake was, I can't wait to see this!


Fox Searchlight, you better not disappoint. Miss March tells the story of Eugene Bell, a man who awakes from a four-year coma and discovers that his high school would-be-first-time high school sweetheart is now a Playboy centerfold. It stars Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore, two of the kids from the IFC channel's The Whitest Kids U' Know, a sketch comedy series based in New York City; once cancelled from the Fuse network, now renewed again by the IFC channel. Both Cregger and Moore wrote and directed Miss March, so I'm expecting March to be like a giant Saturday Night Live sketch. Again, I say, sketch. In other words, "shan't be made into a movie". Like a Wayne's World for the modern audience. Hugh Hefner plays a key role in Miss March (guess he's an actor now, because he also starred in last summer's The House Bunny which starred Anna Faris and Emma Stone), and is now saying that he's "ready for the big screen", obviously stating that he's ready to do motion-pictures. But yet, Fox Searchlight, who also brought us Napoleon Dynamite, Notorious and the Academy Award winning Slumdog Millionaire, brings us March, so maybe it'll be a cult classic. I'll probably see it, but I suggest you wait until it's endlessly shown on Comedy Central.


Disney. Oh, boy. How it has gone so downhill; from such classics such as Mickey Mouse to now-trash like Hannah Montana. If only Walt Disney could see what it's become. Another remake here from Walt Disney Pictures, this time starring Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. Oh, wait, Disney, didn't we already see him in one of your tween-trash films September 2007, with The Game Plan? Shame, 'Rock', shame…Race to Witch Mountain is about a UFO specialist who enlists the help of a cabbie to protect two kids with supernatural powers from the hands of an evil organization that wants to use their powers for things other than good. It also stars AnnaSophia Robb (doesn't belong here, don't you think?) She was great when she first appeared in 2005's movie-adaptation Because of Winn-Dixie, and even better in Tim Burton's remake of Charlie in the Chocolate Factory. Since then, she's wasted her talent on such mind-numbing flicks like Bridge to Terabithia (no surprise, yet another Disney movie-adaptation), The Reaping and Jumper. Now this can go on her list of flops, too. Not looking forward for this one; good for the kids, but I'm predicting adults will get bored easily. I will be seeing Witch Mountain, however, but I have high doubts that I will enjoy all of it.

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